Everlasting Stories

Well, two years ago I was in a relationship with a guy who was also a teacher at my friend's school.
Actually, there was no sparks in our relationship and my father seemed like he despised my ex. Thus we broke up.
However, I might hurt him on that day since he updated many sad quotes and videos on his sosmed. Truthfully he never said anything in front of me on that day, he said he was okay and he wasn't against my decision to break up with him.
Seeing his posts on his sosmed made me sick of him and I decided to unfollow him and deleted his numbers.
I actually wanted to say that it's not his fault, we were just not meant to be. I hope he can be more honest and open up to his next girlfriend instead up sharing his feelings on sosmed (which I think not so gentleman at all).
I hope he can forgive me and have a happier relationship. :)

My whole day is pretty much the same. I think I have to change this routine soon.
Well, let's start!

05:00 - turned off alarm.
06:00 - turned off my second alarm.
07:00 - snoozed my third alarm for couple of times.
08:00 - finally woke up! Yay!
08:05 ~ 09:00 - cooked rice, washed dishes, took a bath, had a breakfast while putting on my make up + watched kdrama (wow! so multitasking)
09:05 ~ 10:00 put on hijab, threw trashes, off to office.
10:05 ~ 10:30 got off at poins square, walked to office, bought lunch and dinner at plaza 2.
10:35 ~ 13:00 - morning slot (mostly had nothing to do) at office.
13:05 ~ 15:30 - classroom and teaching preparation.
15:30 ~ 18:20 - Taught FR16 class.
18:30 ~ 18:55 - otw to river valley residence to teach Dahyun and Dain.
19:00 ~ 21:00 - teaching the Korean sisters.
21:05 ~ 22:00 - otw home by transjakarta + gojek.
22:05 ~ 23:00 - washed my face, skincare routine, sleep!

Talking about some books that I love is always interesting!
I love comics, especially rom-com genre. 
Recently I've finished re-reading Tears of Sheep by Banri Hidaka.
It's about a girl (Kei Hasumi) who struggled to find a ring in Kyosuke Kanzaki's room. They lived in the same neighborhood. They were also classmates.
What I like about this comic is its characters. The author made all characters has their own stories that related to each other. This comic has many quotes, too.
My favorite character is Kakeru Suwa, he is a positive-minded character who has unpredictable acts. Most of quotes came from him as he made Kei and Kanzaki's life values changed.
"Start from what makes you happy" and the philosophy of strawberry milk are my favorite part of him.
This comic is good for healing process.
I would 100% recommend this book if you're a quotes lover just like me.. hahaha

Well, despite my zero improvement of love life, I strongly feel like I need to move on from my workplace now. So, I'm planning to apply for a new job next month. I haven't decided yet whether I will work in Bandung or stay in Jakarta. I will discuss it with my parents first.
I hope everything runs well. Maybe in a new place, a new beginning of love life will bloom. Hahahaha :p

1. Buy me food
     Especially my favorite food such as; strawberry flavored food, matcha flavored food and seaweed flavored food.

2. Listen to my stories
     Most of the time, I am a good listener. However, there's a moment when I want to vent out everything in my mind to someone, I used to have one person in the past but not anymore.. If you listen to me attentively, you'll definitely win my heart. 😆

3. Ask me out for a date
     I like to go to new places or event once in a while, especially places related to Korean or Japanese culture.

4. Write me a letter
     I really love handwritten notes, even if it's only a short letter I will appreciate it. I used to get this from Nia and Mijra.. hehe

5. Make me laugh/ smile
    Sometimes I have weird humor taste, but I'll definitely fall for somebody who can consistently makes me laugh or smile.. hehe I used to have an office crush who liked to tease me every single day.

If only my brother could understand how difficult it is to live a life, may be he wouldnt say those sharp words to me.

If only my brother could think in a mature way, he wouldnt think that he got bored with failures and chose to be unemployee without any consideration.

If only my brother could understand how much efforts that my mom, my dad and I made to make him continue his studying, maybe he wouldnt just give up and being ignorant.

My dear brother, you know, long time ago when I was in your age, I was so afraid and frustrated cz I had no chance to continue my study to university. I still remember it clearly how sick my father was at that time that he had no more choices but to spend all of my education fees for his medication and I had no right to say no. Cz I want him to be healthy. At that time, it was difficult to give up on my education and chose to work instead, but finally Allah gave me a miracle called a scholarship. And I know that I got it not because I was smart but because of my parents prayers.. My mom strong hopes..

But today, when I talked to my brother and I confirmed to him whether he wants to continue studying or not, the answer was up to me, he said. He didnt directly blame our parents but I can decipher it from his intention. He said that he was bored of being failed all the time, he was tired of going here and there just for tests, and he doesnt care anymore about his future. He seems like a person who doesnt have dreams, like an empty nutshell. Of course I was mad, really mad! Listening to the way he said made me furious yet sad at the same time. Din, you know, at least you have someone who will pay for your education fee no matter what. At least our father is healthy now and can accompany you for tests. At least our family's financial is good now. But why? Why dont you realize it?? Why dont you see our parents efforts? Why dont u appreciate it???
There are many things in my mind that I really want to tell to my brother but sadly I am not good at expressing it to him. He might thinks that I am just nagging at him. 

If only he could just see my mind like a mind reader maybe he would understand these feelings..
Right now, I am just hoping that everything will run well and he will change his mind. I dont want those efforts of us being useless..

If only I can throw him away, make him suffer until he can understand how difficult a life is. But I cant. I still want my brother to success. I still want to give the best for him. Arrgh! These mixed feelings are taking a toll on me!!!

Dear Allah, please help my brother.. Please lead him to the right path.. Amin..

It was early morning,
I am on my way to Bekasi.. and she was sitting there, next to me..
She was wearing black veils, wide black skirt, sport shoes, big white jacket and that bag - a square blue jeans bag with a red tie - yes, that suit-like bag.. and the scent of orange..
She just exatcly looked like that person.. huft.. (but the height is different)
And I can't help but took a deep breath..
Dear Allah, is it a sign? Or just coincidence?